Force Majeure
(Those of you with delicate sensibilities may wish to skip this story.)
You may have wondered when the phrase Act of God first came into use. You’ve seen it on legal forms and may have unfortunately encountered it while trying to collect on your homeowner’s insurance policy. As with many things, the English can be blamed—er, credited—with popularizing the term.
William II – better known as William Rufus – the second surviving son of William the Conqueror, was King of England from 1087 until 1100. He also ruled Normandy and wielded considerable influence in Scotland. He was not well liked, particularly for his unusual (and thoroughly unwholesome) practice of buggering unwilling men throughout his reign.
William began his royal tenure on September 26, 1087, and apparently liked to start each day with a brisk round of forced sodomy. Though he had no shortage of “special friends,” he seemed to prefer a fresh, mostly unwilling courtier every morning.
And why not? It’s good to be the king.
As roughly the thousandth such morning approached, William decided to follow his usual routine: a bit of coerced intimacy followed by a hunting excursion. Off the royal party went. Before long, the nobles returned—except for William. His brother Henry (soon to become Henry I) was among those who hurried back, leaving William lying (yes, lying) dead in the New Forest with an arrow through his lung on this very date.
Henry wasted no time crowning himself king. He later ordered an inquest into his brother’s demise—not because he was especially curious about the outcome. In fact, no one even bothered to retrieve William’s body. It was eventually hauled back to Winchester Cathedral by a peasant in the back of a dung cart. I kid you not.
A royal commission was convened and ultimately concluded that William’s death was a just end—an Act of God visited upon a wicked king.
So there you have it: the next time your insurance company refuses to pay a claim because of an “Act of God,” you can thank a long-dead English monarch with a fondness for vigorous, nonconsensual sodomy.
And so it goes
The Haus of Dcaligari 