April 13, 1883 —
Alferd Packer, one of the few people in U.S. history ever to be jailed for cannibalism – having allegedly killed and eaten five of his traveling companions while trapped in the Rocky Mountains during severe winter weather – was sentenced to death in Colorado. During the trial, the judge supposedly said:
“Damn you, Alferd Packer! There were seven Dimmycrats in Hinsdale County, and you ate five of them!“
An alternate version of the judge’s outburst is:
“Packer, you depraved Republican son of a bitch! There were only five Democrats in Hinsdale County, and you ate them all!“
The actual sentencing statement, of course, was a little more in character for an educated state judge:
“Close your ears to the blandishments of hope. Listen not to the flattering promises of life, but prepare for the dread certainty of death.“
Packer is a legend in popular culture. He has been quoted as having said, in jest, “The breasts of man…are the sweetest meat I ever tasted.” In 1968, students at the University of Colorado Boulder named their new cafeteria grill the Alferd G. Packer Memorial Grill, with the slogan “Have a friend for lunch!” Even today, students can enjoy the meat-filled “El Canibal” underneath a giant wall map outlining his travels through Colorado.
Trey Parker, co-creator of South Park and a graduate of the University of Colorado, made a student film – Cannibal! The Musical – based loosely on Packer’s life.
