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Surrexit Dominus vere, alleluia! We’ve spoken about Ishtar before: there is an ancient story about Tammuz (also known as Attis, Osiris, Dionysus, Adonis, Orpheus or Jesus – you’ll get the idea) who was born of a virgin, died, was reborn. He was the lover of Ishtar. The festival associated with Tammuz began as a dayContinue reading “Christus resurrexit! Vere resurrexit!”

Today is Holy Saturday; it’ s also known as the Great Sabbath, Black Saturday, or Easter Eve. You kids today are soft; we used to have to fast the entire day today. Today is the last day of Lent – you have one more day of having to give up something (or one could haveContinue reading “Sabbatum Sanctum”

Back in the eighth century, countries had not yet been formally invented. That part of western Europe known today as France was simply called Frankland. This helped distinguish it from neighboring areas, such as Georgeland to the north and Hansland to the east. The Franks had allowed themselves to be ruled for several generations byContinue reading “The Story of Frankland”

Today is Good Friday, (also know as, Great Friday, Holy Friday or Long Friday.) The old ladies you usually pester with questions of a religious nature are busy today: they are doing the Stations of the Cross. Since you probably have not been to church since at least Christmas and more likely than not, haveContinue reading “Along the Via Dolorosa”

When you woke up this morning, one of your first thoughts probably was, Thank Goodness Volkswagen really didn’t change it’s name. No you probably realized that it’s April (again.) It is a cruel month – usually mixing memory with tax payments (hopefully you’ve heard that you may file your taxes May 17, this year.) AprilContinue reading “April is a promise that May is bound to keep.”

It’s sometimes called Maundy Thursday, also known as Sheer Thursday (as in to purge yourself of sin), Covenant Thursday, Great and Holy Thursday, and Thursday of Mysteries. Remember to wash your feet (or hands, for that matter,) or the feet of someone else, if you are so inclined. Among the other things going on remember:Continue reading “Today is Holy Thursday.”

I started out as an altar boy. I became an Altar boy because you could get out of school early twice a week. You did have to do an early mass (7:00 AM) once a week but what the hell. The priest that ran the program was a frustrated football coach. We would have ourContinue reading “Many have asked how I began my life of crime –”

March 31, 1889 –French engineer Gustave Eiffel unfurled the French tricolor from atop the Eiffel Tower, officially marking its completion on this date, but its history dates back to Gallic times. Documents that have been carbon-dated to roughly 200 B.C. indicate that King Catatonix of the Hellatians decreed, for no apparent reason, the construction ofContinue reading “When good Americans die, they go to Paris”

March 30, 1863 – Danish prince Wilhelm Georg was chosen as King George of Greece on this date. King George I is the great-grandfather of Prince Philip, yes that gadabout Greek sailor who lives in London. Kids, now follow this: Philip and his lovely wife Elizabeth are second cousins once removed: they are both descendedContinue reading “Life among the those wacky inbred royals.”

A Finnish sniper named Simo Häyhä was able to kill around 500 Soviet soldiers in the Winter War of 1939 by literally hiding in the snow and taking random shots every couple hours. In March 1940 he was struck in the jaw by an explosive bullet and seriously wounded. He was very disfigured, unconscious, andContinue reading “White Death – WWII’s most accurate snipper”