February 9, 1976 –
Paul Simon’s song, 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover, hits number 1 on this date.
Paul Simon has never gotten around to listing the other ways to leave but poking around the internet, I have discovered the other 45 ways:
6. Post her nude pics, Dick.
- Delete him from your phone, Simone.
- Block his digits, Bridget.
- Keep him in the dark, Mark.
- Keep blowing her off, Kristoph.
- Just have the chat, Pat.
- Make her break up with you, Stu.
- Stop having sex with her, Jessic… er.
- Give him an ultimatum, Tatum.
- Change your address, Jess.
- Tell the whole truth, Ruth.
- Just get up and leave, Steve.
- “Tell her you’ve “grown apart,” Bart.
- Tell him “It’s not you, it’s me,” Bree.
- Don’t give him a second chance, Lance.
- In a public place, Chase.
- Tell her “we’re turning into our parents,” Clarence.
- Get back together with your ex, Lex.
- Let yourself be the villain, Dylan.
- Throw dishes and yell, Belle.
- Start being mean, Gene.
- Get really quiet, Wyatt.
- Give up the fight, Dwight.
- Get caught in the act, Jack.
- Forget her birthday again, Glenn.
- Just cut him loose, Bruce.
- Pretend you didn’t know you were supposed to be “together,” Heather.
- Tell her you’re married, Larry.
- Say “It’s moving too fast,” Cass.
- Tell him you “don’t like rules,” Jules.
- Tell her you “don’t like labels,” Mabel.
- Just disappear, Greer.
- “Lose your phone,” Joan.
- Text “We need to talk,” Brock.
- Just be too busy, Lizzy.
- Say you “need space,” Grace.
- Say, “we’re just taking a break,” Jake.
- Say, “I think I might be gay,” Ray.
- Say, “I think I might be straight,” Nate.
- Admit to your affair, Blair.
- Get a restraining order, Porter.
- Tell her “It’s me or the drinkin,” Lincoln.
- Fly off the handle, Randall.
- Blame everything on him, Tim.
- Say “I don’t deserve you,” Drew
Next up – 50 ways to Delouse your Liver or 50 ways to lose your luggage
The Haus of Dcaligari 