August 2, 1100 – (Those of you with delicate sensibilities may wish to skip this story.)
You may have wondered when the phrase Act of God first came into use. You’ve seen it on legal forms and may have unfortunately encountered it when trying to collect on your home insurance policy. As with many things, the English can be blamed – er, credited – with popularizing the term.
William II – known as William Rufus – the second surviving son of William the Conqueror, was King of England from 1087 until 1100. He also held power in Normandy and influence in Scotland. He was not well liked, particularly for his unusual (and unwholesome) practice of buggering unwilling men each morning of his reign.
William began his royal tenure on September 26, 1087, and apparently liked to start his day with a brisk round of forced sodomy. Though he had no shortage of “special friends,” he seemed to prefer a fresh, mostly unwilling courtier each morning.
And why not? It’s good to be the king.
As the thousandth such morning approached, William decided to follow his usual routine: a bit of coerced intimacy followed by a hunting excursion. Off the royal party went. Before long, the nobles returned – except William. His brother Henry (soon to be Henry I) was among those who hurried back, leaving William lying (yes, lying) dead in the New Forest with an arrow through his lung, on this very date.
Henry, wasting no time, crowned himself King. He later ordered an inquest into his brother’s demise -not that he was especially curious about the outcome. In fact, no one even bothered to retrieve William’s body. It was eventually carted back to Winchester Cathedral by a peasant, in the back of a dung cart. I kid you not.
A royal commission was convened and ultimately concluded that William’s death was a just end – an Act of God visited upon a wicked king.
So there you have it: the next time your insurance company refuses to pay out due to an “Act of God,” you can thank a long-dead English monarch with a fondness for vigorous, nonconsensual sodomy.
And so it goes
The Haus of Dcaligari 
