Life is always a party, even Thanksgiving,

but sometimes you’re the guest of honor, sometimes you’re the turkey.

— B. Huijsen

Once again, ACME is proud to repost the following holiday recipes over the next few days, so you can get through Thanksgiving with your liver intact:

It’s time to consider the main course – Turkey. I am reminded of the Julia Child quote: I like to cook for 2, or for 4 or 6 at the most 8 people. Beyond that you get into quantity cooking and that is just not my field at all.

Turkey day is a mere days away. Hopefully you’ve begun thawing your behemoths (my was frozen harder that Walt Disney.)  Also here’s a tip for all cooks – begin drinking today – by Thursday you will develop a wonderful drunken haze that will get you through any emergency.

Do you know that a frozen turkey is fresher than a so-called freshturkey? The frozen turkey have been frozen immediately upon preparation (execution.) The so-called fresh turkeys can sit in your store for days. For crisper skin, unwrap the turkey the day before roasting and leave it uncovered in the refrigerator overnight.

Preheat your oven to 450°F. Use a shallow roasting pan with roughly chopped onions and carrots at the bottom. Add 1-2 cups of wine or stock to the pan to help keep the turkey moist. A roasting rack is highly recommended to keep the turkey off the pan’s bottom and prevent it from sticking.

Just before roasting, stuff the body and the neck of the turkey. (Do not stuff your turkey ahead of time as harmful bacteria growth could spoil the uncooked turkey.) Do not pack in as the stuffing will expand during cooking. If packed in too tightly, it will be very dense instead of light. You can truss your bird if you know how. An easier version is to use the heel of the loaf of bread to cover the opening of the abdomen and tie the legs of the turkey together – this will help with a more even cooking of the stuffing. Cook the remaining stuffing dressing in a baking pan.

Before roasting, coat the outside of the turkey with vegetable or olive oil, season with salt and pepper. So your turkey is thawed, brined or not brined, stuffed or not stuffed. Now it’s time to get it into the oven. Approximate cooking times listed below are for a whole turkey cooked at 350 °F.

Cooking Time:
Un-stuffed Turkey:
8 to 12 lbs: 2.75 to 3 hours
12 to 14 lbs: 3 to 3.75 hours
18 to 20 lbs: 4.25 to 4.5 hours
20 to 24 lbs: 4.5 to 5 hours
24 to 30 lbs: 5 to 5.25 hours

Stuffed Turkey:,:
8 to 12 lbs: 3 to 3.5 hours
12 to 14 lbs: 3.5 to 4 hours
18 to 20 lbs: 4.25 to 4.75 hours
20 to 24 lbs: 4.75 to 5.25 hours
24 to 30 lbs: 5.25 to 6.25 hours

To prevent the breast meat from drying out, loosely cover just the breast with a triple thick sheet of aluminum foil, butter on the inside to prevent sticking. Remove after the first hour of roasting so the breast has time to brown and lower the temperature to 350°F.

I have no firm opinion on basting – baste if you enjoy basting every half hour (this will resulting in a slightly longer cooking time as the oven will have to continuously have to come back up to temperature) or baste once an hour (this will result in you worrying about a possible dry turkey. I have two suggestions for that – make more gravy and continually drink during the entire cooking process.)

Don’t trust the plastic pop-up thermometer. Use an instant-read thermometer inserted between the thigh and breast, aiming for 165°F. Let the cooked turkey “rest” after it have been removed from the oven. While the turkey cooks, the juices are forced away from the heat to the middle of the turkey. Cover loosely with aluminum foil and let rest for 30 to 45 minutes after it is removed from the oven. This allows the juices to redistribute throughout the turkey. A moist turkey is easier to carve and tastier too.

You will need your oven to reheat or cook side dishes, so it’s better to serve the turkey at room temperature with hot gravy than to reheat it. Reheating dries out the meat. The interior of a large turkey will stay quite hot for at least an hour.

Gravy Recipe
Ingredients:

4 cups reduced-sodium chicken broth (or your own homemade broth for extra flavor)
2 tablespoons butter
½ cup all-purpose flour
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
Drippings from turkey roasting pan

Tools:

Large heavy-bottomed saucepan
Whisk
Large wooden spoon
Sieve
Roasting pan
Medium-sized bowl

Place roasting tray over medium heat and add stock. Bring to a boil and scrap bottom of pan, getting all the accumulated brown bits (fond) off the bottom. Lower the heat, occasionally stirring as you continue with the recipe.

Place the large saucepan over medium high heat. Add butter, 2 tablespoons of pan dripping and 1/2 cup of flour to saucepan and whisk until mixture turns a light brown (in about 4 minutes – do not burn.)

Lower heat to medium and slowly whisk the heated stock into the saucepan (straining through sieve.) This is a good time to call someone into the kitchen to lend a hand, i.e, hold the sieve, pouring the stock through the sieve, slowly whisking or making sure you are properly hydrated. Add about 3 cups of the stock and continue cooking until the gravy has thickened, about 10 to 15 minutes – if it’s a little too thick add a little more stock (add a little more pan drippings.)

Smother everything you eat with it.

Homemade Cranberry Sauce

Here are a couple more Thanksgiving themes episodes to watch while your thinking about what you’ve gotten yourself into<

The Beverly Hillbillies – Turkey Day

This show was the episode to air after the JFK assassination.

Newhart  Don’t Rain on My Parade

I’ll leave you today with a thoughtful quote from Oscar Wilde: After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one’s own relations.