The first time toilet paper was ever sold on a roll was on August 26, 1871 (Joseph Gayetty, often created as ‘the father of modern TP‘ sold his product in packets of flat sheets.) August 26 was later officially dubbed National Toilet Paper Day. (Seth Wheeler patents rolled and perforated toilet paper (U.S. patent No. 117355) on July 25, 1871.)
The Chinese took a break from inventing everything else and were thought to have create TP on this date in 580 AD. They were far too serious to be messing around with any old orgies not to note the correct date.
And so it goes
The Haus of Dcaligari 