Today’s gift count (286): you currently have 11 pipers piping,
20 hyperactive effete British gentlemen, knocking furniture over, 27 Pole dancers (draw the shades, the neighborhood kids are staring into your windows), 32 organized dairy workers striking for better working conditions, 35 Swans making a racket, befouling your second bathroom (I hope you have a second bathroom), 36 geese a’ laying, 35 golden rings, 32 calling birds, 27 French hens, 20 turtledoves and 11 partridges in their respective pear trees.
The eleven pipers piping are the first eleven faithful Apostles and why are you still signing for any packages delivered at your home?
The Haus of Dcaligari 