At least your job title isn’t ‘Keeper of the Royal Pigeon Poop’

In England, pigeon poop is property of the Crown.

In the 18th Century, King George I of England decreed all pigeon droppings to be property of the Crown. He even put guards at sites where the birds perched to enforce his edict. He was no birdbrain. There was a practical reason for his order: Pigeon manure was used in making gunpowder.