Avoid mosquitoes at all cost, they’re not good!
Though not as front of mind and the Delta variant, West Nile Virus cases have been been once again on the rise in New York City, as it has been in the past. Beyond being itch-provoking summer pests, mosquitoes kill more that an an estimated million people around the world each year. That makes them more deadly than any animal on Earth, humans included. The World Health Organization estimates that between 300 and 500 million cases of malaria occur each year, which are transmitted person to person in a one-celled parasite that female mosquitoes pass around when they suck our blood.
ACME takes some pride in this (not the deaths, mind you, but reporting on this.) and once again we would like to publish this importance health update:
It’s not always easy to discern whether or not a given mosquito is carrying the Malaria parasite, so the prudent move is to avoid all mosquitoes.
This may be unfair to innocent mosquitoes who mean you no harm–the so-called “moderate” mosquitoes – but political niceties must be subordinated to threats to your survival.
It’s important to remember that mosquitoes are masters of disguise. With a little makeup or a fancy hat, any mosquito can take on the appearance of several other species. They cannot, however, conceal their stingers.
Avoid all insects with stingers. If you encounter one that claims its stinger is merely a golf-club wedged into its rectum, do not believe it: insects don’t golf.
Do not open your doors or windows to strangers before ascertaining whether or not they’re mosquitoes. If they acknowledge being mosquitoes but deny carrying the Malaria parasite, do not trust them. Some mosquitoes may even offer to show you a doctor’s certificate, but such evidence is meaningless: they may have picked up the Malaria parasite in the time elapsed since their doctor tested them.
Be wary of delivery men, plumbers, electricians, and cable guys with stingers trailing from their jumpsuits. Continue to drink large quantities of Gin and Tonics during these summer months.
And so it goes
The Haus of Dcaligari 