The Great Pig War (aka the San Juan Boundary Dispute) between the US and UK/Canada, begun in June of 1859, lasted 12 whole years and was started over a very hungry pig. At maximum belligerence, the order of battle included 2,600 ground troops, five powerful ships of the line, and nearly a hundred cannon.
But fortunately, the combatants never actually got around to doing much combatting. In fact, the only recorded injury was a Royal Marine who got hit in the eye by a rock thrown from the American trenches. He was shipped to a nearby military hospital, recuperated, and eventually rejoined his unit. Most of the opposing troops’ energies were spent sneaking across the lines to each other’s outposts – to play cards, swap stories, and to trade American tobacco and fresh food for navy rum swiped from the British quartermaster’s stores. The Americans invited the British to celebrate 4 of July with them, while the yanks would visit the British for Victoria’s birthday celebrations. The biggest threat to peace at this time was the enormous amount of alcohol, as well as shady suppliers, that appeared on the island.
The two forces waited until finally, in 1872, all of the two nations’ remaining squabbles were brought out into the open. One by one all the border grievances remaining were addressed and (mostly) resolved, until eventually the focus fell on San Juan Island. It was decided that because the two nations both insisted on stubbornly claiming the land, the fate of the island would be decided by international arbitration, with no other than Kaiser Wilhem I of Germany to act as arbitrator.
All wars should be fought like this.
The Haus of Dcaligari 